Growing

Hello! 

I’m back!!!

I can’t believe that I haven’t posted anything in what felt like such a long time. As I have mentioned before, I wanted to do further studies and I was going to law school. So… the reason why I haven’t posted for some time was because I already started some studying for law school. However, I have shocking news about that…

I withdrew my enrollment for law school because I realized that I wasn’t cut-out for it. It was a difficult decision for me to make because it had always been my dream to become a lawyer and then when I was already taking steps closer to that dream, reality hit me so hard.

Initially, I was excited that I was going to law school and that I’m already one step closer to my dreams. However, as a couple of days passed by, I started doubting myself if I could go on. But despite that doubt I felt, I decided to push through with it because I felt like I just needed to get used to it and that the doubt was probably just because I was shocked at how much I had to study even before classes have started. However, as more days passed, I realized that no matter how hard I tried and no matter how hard I wanted it, I just couldn’t make myself enjoy studying for it. I also had a lot of anxiety whenever we would have our introductory class because I was constantly on my toes wishing to be called only on things that I knew and praying that I don’t get called on things that I had no idea about.

Then, recently, I realized that I couldn’t go on anymore. Have you ever experienced having an epiphany? That’s what happened to me recently when I had decided to withdraw my enrollment instead of pushing myself to continue with it. It may sound like I gave up and I wouldn’t really blame you if you think that way. But to me, I feel like what I did was finally admitting to myself that I can’t do it and that I need to cut my losses now instead of failing and getting a record of that fail. I felt like I needed to be brave and face it already instead of pushing myself into something that I’m not happy with anymore and letting other opportunities pass me by.

All in all, it was quite a heartbreaking experience for me because not only did I realize that I couldn’t reach my dream but I had to let it go as well for the sake of my well-being. I also incurred a drop along the way because withdrawing my enrollment would still give me a record in the law school. 

However, I’m already in the process of healing. I’m trying to move on from that incident and I’m trying to stay positive now because I need to get myself up from that fall. What I’m doing now is that I’m looking forward to achieving my new goal which is to achieve success in my chosen field. At the same time, I’m doing things that I enjoy so that I could get back to my happy, positive, and hopeful self.

Finally, I decided to not let that experience get in my way. I decided to look at it as a learning point that life isn’t always perfect and I can’t always get what I want but that doesn’t mean that I can’t try and find things that are for me. I also learned that maybe I should think twice or thrice before making any big decision or changes in my life just to make sure that I’ve thought everything through and that I don’t affect others as much.

In case you’re going through a similar thing, please know that you’re not alone and that there are better days in store for us all. We just have to accept everything that comes our way. That’s all for now, bye!